“Find Me Grateful; Find Me Thankful.”

This year…how is it already October? How has it been almost four months since I’ve had a chance to write anything other than a handful of journal entries?

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Summer began with a beautiful wedding. The first couple of weeks back were dedicated to this precious event. I had a lovely case of laryngitis that must have been the result of whatever mild virus I had on the plane going home. Thankfully, it had, for the most part, run its course by the time the wedding festivities began.
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Around mid-summer I took a mini road trip to visit friends from college. I found that the more I drove, the more I wanted to explore. One stop included memory lane, which happens to be this bridge.
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Shortly after my arrival home, I was on the road again to spend some time in the mountains with my family. The weather was cool enough for campfires and sweaters.

This summer was so full of joy, but it also held its share of sorrow. I found that some relationships were harder, and some seemed as if they were fading away for good. My heart longs for things to stay as they were, but I know that life means change and this does not exclude relationships.

This part was the hardest part of my summer. I found myself questioning who I am and the direction of my life. More than anything, I want to be exactly where He sees fit for me to be. I also want to live up to the expectations that others have for me. Often, these two things do not coincide.

I do know that His love and His purpose is greater than all that seems lost, broken, or scattered in confusion. As long as He guides this life and this heart, there is peace in my spirit and joy in my soul.

Very soon I will reach another point of decision in my life: the choice between staying here in Venezuela or going. My prayer is that I face this decision with boldness and wisdom. There are many things that hold sway.

Part of me wants to settle into a life that feels a little bit more steady. I long for a season of settledness. Another part of me fears being stuck in one place, unchanging and unmoving.

This season of my life has been anything but idle. His steady presence and astounding grace are evident. He holds the desires of my heart and quiets the fears that accompany them.

Whatever direction I proceed in, there will be losses and there will be gains. All I know and all I should rest in is that He has faithfully guided my life so far.

“Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead me and guide me.” -Psalm 31:3

 

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