The semester has ended. Graduation has come and gone. Change is inevitable. I’m moving out of a season of my life that has become as comfortable as home. What started out as a break away from my comfort zone, the leaving of all I had known, became the place I knew best. I love my school, and I love Tennessee.
I remember a little girl who would dream about going to college.
I remember a teenager wrestling with herself and her God, feeling the weight of impossibility but reaching for it anyway.
I remember a high school graduate wanting so much to go to one college only for the door to be shut in her face. The discouragement was a reality.
I remember the graduate of a small town community college preparing to move out of state to a school, that, unbeknownst to her, would be one of the best things that ever happened to her.
I now sit here on the other side of graduation, on the other side of closed and opened doors. I look back at my time here, as I know I will many times over the course of my life, and I see His goodness. I came here not knowing a soul, but I have been more than blessed by the wonderful people who have surrounded my life here. Every semester I watched as He, through one means or another, provided for my needs financially.
I lost part of my heart to the mountains here in east Tennessee. I found so much of my heart here as well. I’ve spent the past two weeks packing up my apartment and saying “goodbye just for now” to all of the people I love here. I don’t doubt that I will be back here sometime soon, but the seasons are once again shifting and changing.
What’s next for me? Part of me has to say that God only knows. What I do know is that earlier this year I accepted a job as a 9-12th grade English teacher. Toward the end of July I will move to Caracas, Venezuela to teach at ICS Caracas. I will have to write more about this in another post. Let’s just say that when you pray for something bigger than yourself to pour your life into, God takes you seriously.
Once again, I am preparing to move out of my comfort zone. Change is not easy for me, but I would not have it any other way. We cannot grow, we cannot experience all that He has for us, apart from change.
“Standing on the shore of decision, looking into the face of adventure. Desire to abandon all I know. What pushes me is rooted somewhere between misunderstanding and knowing. Knowing that what I want to understand is not within my reach. So I ponder my escape, not knowing what lies ahead. Adventure in theory is full of excitement and bleeds with passion for life, but adventure in reality is full of breathless moments, silent nights, and wounds that leave scars of memory on our heart. Can I go the distance? Can I give all my mind to get what the Messanger is saying? Can I surrender my knowing? Will I survive the humility of ignorance to obtain a treasure that earthly gold cannot buy? Will I ask the question of honesty even is the answer convicts my soul and sends me to the land of repentance? All of these thoughts flood my mind.” -Melissa Helser